Saturday, August 20, 2005

Hours until I leave

I apologize for not posting more on this site. I want to make this as interesting as my other blog, but I've been too busy getting ready for this trip to do so. As it is, I'm typing this all bleary eyed at 3am, 9 hours before my departure. (what a trooper I am!)

And no matter how many times I take trips, whether they be the three day, two week, or two month variety, I'm always doing things at the last minute. The epic trips are the worst. Because I'm going to be gone for over two months, I have a lot more to do before I depart. There's always loose ends to tie up around town. Even though I always have most of the things I'll need for travel on hand, there will always be some things I need to get for each new trip. Then it turns into this frantic two-day search as I endlessly bike around town trying to find a specific item (and not pay too much.) And there is the inevitable wrapping up of projects and getting things ready so I can do stuff on the road.

One thing that isn't that difficult to figure out is what to bring. After doing this so much, I know what I need and how much of it. That still doesn't mean that sometimes I bring too much, or forget something that would be helpful. My bags are pretty hefty because I bring zines with me to sell/trade (which is the eternal curse of a zinester: you will never be able to pack super light since you'll always have zines to worry about). One of these days I'll try a trip sans zines, but for now it's too intertwined into my life to not bring them (especially since I'll be going to a few zine events along the way).

To tell the truth, despite a couple things I wish I could take care of before departing (and computer issues that made my night less easy) there's nothing that important that still needs to be done. But it doesn't mean that I don't stress out about all this. I still have to finish packing (it's too often that I'm faced with all the shit I need to cram into my bags splayed out across the room at three in the morning) and e-mail some folks before the morn, and there is the more existential shit that creeps up and then jumps out at you in the days leading up to the trip: Why am I doing this? Is this trip a big mistake? Am I going to go broke yet again because of my crazy travels? I try not to think about it too much, and concentrate on the positives, all the fun I'll have on this trip. It's going to be quite an adventure!

To wrap up this post, I will give you some words of wisdom from Steev:

"You wont be able to relax till you're on the moving train. Do you ever have this feeling: when you're traveling somewhere, enroute, on a bus or train or whatever, and you get close to the destination and you sort of don't want it to end? I often feel that way, I think because when you're on the bus/train/plane/whatever, you're safe, or at least safe in the sense that you don't have to make any decisions, you just sit there and relax. But once you get where you're going all the stress comes back, you have to exert your will again and figure out where you're going..."

Amen, brother!


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